I haven’t posted in forever because I keep hoping to have something positive to post about but it just hasn’t happened that way.
I’ve started radiation therapy now. I will have a total of 20 treatments every day except weekends and holidays. So far I’ve had seven. According to the literature and the doctor, I shouldn’t have many side effects but I feel like crap. I have a sore throat and just about everything on that side of my face hurts. I have some sores in my mouth and my gums and teeth are super sensitive. I think I underestimated how severe the side effects would be. I breezed through chemo fairly easily; at least this won’t last for as long.
Unfortunately cancer doesn’t just affect your health. I’m now starting to have to deal with the other areas of impact. Even with insurance cancer is expensive. Without insurance I don’t know how you would do it. One of the shots I received during chemo was $11,000 for a 100mg dose. That comes out to $50 million dollars per pound of product. I had three doses of that. The PET/CT scans are about $8,000 each and I’ve had two of those. I don’t know how much the radiation is going to be. My part of the bills is manageable but has come at a very bad time for us financially. Another thing cancer affects is your relationships with family and friends. Sometimes this is positive and sometimes it is negative. I’ve definitely found out who really cares about me and who’s just going through the motions. As a previously [somewhat] active and healthy individual it’s been hard for me to adjust to not having the same energy I did before. It’s even harder trying to get it back without over-doing it. I feel as though I’m way behind at work and on chores around the house but as much as it bothers me, I can only do as much as my body will let me.
I wish I had more positive things to say, but I don’t feel very positive. I thought the hard part was over, but I was wrong.
Baby steps, jtd, everything will get back to normal in due time. You’re doing a great job!
At times it may seem like two steps forward and one step back, but ultimately progress is being made. You and Elaine give me inspiration on a daily basis: your guys’ strength and steadfast support for one another goes to a whole other level that I can’t even comprehend. ♥
John, I know how hard it is for you to not have the energy you were used to having. Unfortunately, it will take a little while to get back to normal. Did you ask your Dr about Swizzle for your mouth sores? At least this time when they say it’s over ( the radiation), it will be. Hang in there for a few more weeks. Take pleasure in counting down the days. I know you have a lot to deal with otherwise right now also, but I know you’ll come out of the tunnel and be ok. Your a strong man and Elaine a tough lady.
I love you both so much. You’re always in my thoughts and prayers.